Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
