I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
