I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
this hospital has no fireball
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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