yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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