the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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