i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize