Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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