Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
