well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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