So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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