I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
