I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
