You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
