things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
