I'm really into asian looking animals
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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