Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
