Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
