I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
