The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
These tits shall not be calmed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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