I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's like heaven, but drunker
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
