We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
