In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Congratulations! We have a period
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