Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
