He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
