so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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