What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
