dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
