They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
