took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
