You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
