id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I would fuck him just for his dog
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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