so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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