No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
