shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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