my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
