mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
