Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
