He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
