I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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