my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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