a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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