im gay
i know
yea but for you.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
