Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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