I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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