But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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