Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
