Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
