Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
