Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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