she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
