I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
