your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
