i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
